Woke up grumpy. Wanted to sleep in. I slept at 1030 last night so that’s a win. Summer woke me and thank god she did. It knocked on my laziness. Fed her and wanted to go back to bed. She barked again after eating. I was irritated but it got me moving, putting dishes away, washing up dirty ones from last night, this clean up routine helps me wake. Besides, there is no snoozing a hungry dog. 630. Not good enough but I’ll stop being hard on myself. Day at a time, crumbs at a time. Those earlier hours I am still awful drowsy, after all I had spent most of my life going to bed in the am. My body is intelligent but I shouldn’t expect it to be abrupt.
Stop chasing delusional thoughts…be practical…lose all passion. The only way to dream. Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work…Gustave Flaubert. I need nothing but to solve this puzzle on my own. This is my mind. I will look after it myself. Life gave me some time. Thankful. No need to fear… power. Cease to be intimidated by anything…can’t afford it. I will tell myself until it becomes true. Fruition…when I finally failed enough to recognize it, to acquire it…took a while. Ready to carry on.. ready to play this game. Work with change..all is temporary and brief. Faltering strengthens. It needs to get worse before it gets better.
clarity….vision….
Angel in the marble. Sculpt until he is weightless.
