FALSE AMBITION

What darkens the heart, isolates the soul, decays the sensitivity of mind? What ravenous lust for power that can drag our livelihood into falsehood, plague our action with dishonesty, and taint our thought with delusions of grandeur, that pathetic comfort of a belief that the sole purpose to life is to be on the top of a non-existent hierarchy of being. How empty. What is this pitiful monster that starves imaginative abilities and enslaves humanity in fear of its light? And it is no doubt that he who feeds this vulgarity will imminently be pulverized by it, then wasted away into a deafening isolation to be rot and metastasized by enthusiastic maggots which grew amply with each flowering of corruption.

Dread not, for this monster has a fatal weakness. It disintegrates in the spaces occupied by human decency and resolve to live in truth . Man can disarm its virulence through the strengthening of his morality, that natural inclination to serve humanity by just means. Inexhaustible power can return but only if one surrenders his ego and places faith in the divinity of gentleness and truthful being. One must repent often and the prayers sent to his own God must be devoid of self-seeking desires. The inviolable formula is to show this monster kindness but absolutely no mercy. History has proven that if man learns to trot this sanctified path of honest work and principled being with good grace, he would in time be granted access the infinite oasis of immortality and at last be released from that suffocating malady of false ambition.

IMG_8522.jpeg

LOG#20200531

Today I begin my first long fast and deep meditation. I will venture into the hidden consciousness in hopes of finding the secret oasis. Have faith and be courageous.

VOYAGE ii

It’s alright.
Come with me sweet monster, my gentle kind monster.
Magna loves you.
Consumed by immense sorrow, a grief they had never known.
Grieving the walls that had caged your soul.
I came and conquered and kept your secret with the angel of book.
Safe and guarded.
I had left many clues, my scripture broken and scattered.
Sent out into the world we had left behind, to begin a new life.
Tired light travellers, messengers of truth, rest well.
In the clustering clouds, the nests of the eternal birds.
Float to the new land there beyond the obscure fog, across the rainbow falls.
A place where no curse has touched, no envy of man has tainted.
Spread your marvellous wings and hatch from the concrete shell.
Rise my monster, rise.
Voyage begins in the second sky.

VOYAGE i

Broken moments fall together and
the one decision to begin a never-ending journey.

Why are we so desperate to be seen and heard?
Lonely hopeful creatures we are,
yet creatures of creation we are.
I love my work, exasperated and gladly so.
If all these pages burned to ashes,
and all my trials vanquished,
fears devoured by the flame,
I will have nothing left,
nothing but happiness.

An emigrant from the land of lost
into the land of free.
A new life! How exciting!
Will innocence finally be mine?
My friends await me.
The literary Kings of the past,
they have many presents to welcome
her humble arrival,
the treasures of their worlds.

The entrance hides in the wind,
the key is to sail against,
while others are sailing along.
Head straight onto its unceasing rage,
unbearable force,
the pressures of a thousand tonnes.
At the height of your effort to push through,
you will only remain in the same place.

One can never truly beat it.

The secret is that you need not surpass the wind,
but you must patiently withstand
total obliteration… within it.
And at the moment
of your loudest roar, the portal
will show, and a forewarning with it,

Trust not what you see but be fooled by how you feel.

Proceed with plenty courage and faith,
and you shall be floating then,
gone from this old debris,
yielding into that warm elusive embrace
of the new world…

as their long awaited
King.

EACH

each moment we are born again ;

each day we begin again ;

each breath breathed is another victory ;

each blink of an eye is an eternity

HOLY MISSION

I am on a holy mission
to sell my soul to the devil
to taint its powers with piety
and seed deep the reverence for music

I shall sacrifice my youthful skin
and my sexual drives
these virgin lips and innocent eyes

exultant cheers from our truest friends
a fan of the people,
I will defend you to the end

I am one flower but if I surrendered,
I could bloom thousands of blossoms

rain down pink petals
cover this earth

until it desires no more
until it bleeds no more

play forever and on
sing forevermore

承載著那神聖的任務
寧靜的魂售賣給了魔
惡意深處埋下了譜子
虔誠將徐徐蕩滌殘酷

瘗祭無辜神态與性慾
純淨的唇與青春的膚
夥伴們的歡呼與雀躍
捍衛著忠誠直到最後

一朵微不足道的花兒
若屈服了將千朵盛開
粉紅花瓣的飄雨
覆蓋大地吧

直到渴望不再
直到血流不再

永遠的玩耍
永久的歌唱

DREAM HUNTERS

refuge within
the sad sound of darkness
favorite song to play
on the record
is silence

pray to Athena not Ares
worship the lady of wisdom
forgive the sullen
god of ruins

fish for the stars
counting days on the
pretty crescent
bleed black
until I find
moments of lucidity

home is the league
of the dream hunters
preach not
until we have become
our fate’s
faithful commanders

LOG#20200403

I have fallen in love with many instruments since the beginning of my creative journey. My own body, my voice. The pole, photography, the musics of cello and drums, the pen and ink of course. False lashes and make up brushes. I plan to dance it all, breathe my poetry into it all. For no reason other than my sanity.

Fundamentals pervade all.

Long for freedom.

v.1

v.2

IMG_6304.jpeg
IMG_6287.jpeg

SEED OF A FRUIT TREE

I am a seed of a fruit tree;

The dirty earth cradles me when I am but a grain of vulnerability, it knows of the secret of seedlings, a universe of potential rooted in its entirety, in history;

I dream of skies to reach, of stars to pluck;

Dare an infinitesimal seed imagine the touch of breeze the day it hatches from the dark soils? Or the day it grows the mightiest trunk that can withstand the darkest of storm? Dare it imagine to have in its possession the courage to challenge the sun to set it ablaze?

Yes! I dare.

And the universe forever conspires to reward fortitude with the miracle of manifestation; the greatest gift of bearing fruit! It shall be the most beautiful burdens on those delicate but strong branches, true gems of nature, sweet, watery flesh to feed the good souls;

Seasons will be my oldest friend, birds my comrades, my leaves will wither but I will grow, again and again, I will dance to rain and sing with wind;

I am a seed of a fruit tree, made in the cool and dark earth, raised by the divine light and warmth, I will grow resilient evermore, there is no hurry;

I am a seed of a fruit tree.

Adjustments.jpeg

WE ARE NO GODS

WE ARE NO GODS,


I am not an emperor, I am empire;
I am not a storyteller, I am story;
I am not a friend, I am friendship;
I am not a humanitarian, I am humanity;

I am not a romantic, I am romance;
I am not a madman, I am madness;

I am not a musician, I am music;
I am not a purist, I am purity;
I am not an artist, I am art;
I am not a poet, I am poetry;

I am not a rebel, I am rebellion;
I am not a perfectionist, I am perfection,


WE ARE DIVINITY.

Adjustments.jpeg

SUFFERANCE

so many nights dancing
with hopelessness
staring at these blank pages
until they fill
with these black tears
of sufferance

trust my choices
follow not these head
voices

all my pain hidden
and unspoken
without poetry
I am but broke
and broken

learn closeness
learn distance

in the places where I shine
I will help those
in need of light

in the places where I fall too shy
I will remember
all wrongs will eventually
right

LOG#20200322

on the spectrum of maturity
(liberators vs triggers)

humor vs mockery
satire vs sarcasm
respect vs praise
privacy vs isolation
vulnerability vs insecurity
candor vs bluntness
reserved vs conservative
innocence vs naivety
shyness vs cowardice
self-aware vs self-absorbed
passionate vs emotional
willful vs stubborn

I am still learning not to react when I am met with triggering experiences and emotions. I struggle to mature but I will fight until I find all of the liberty. I will nurture my sadness and dance with the painful feelings of being alone, grow gentleness and let the shallow, the less aware, and the rushing be. Be centered and come back when I am rested and ready.

_L3A9965.jpg

LOG#20200321

I have a habit of reading aloud my writing. It comforts like a prayer, like a chant.... I have a habit of reading over and over the love letters I have written to myself. I feel much less lonely and much more hopeful....I have a habit of writing and rewriting, writing and rewriting…writing and rewriting…. It seems mad, this obsessive process of painful scratching to no end, but I feel that it is the only thing that keeps me from depressing into a place where I lose my faith and sanity completely. What is depression but a fallen high? I am forgiving. What is madness but our deepening awareness? I am grateful.

IMG_5565.jpeg

ILLUSORY ESTATES

KS HQ
MAX WORLD
OWR
S. CORP
SHS CINEMA


KS | KING SNAKE
the neurotic poet-king’

王蛇帝國
S•A•D vol.1
D•A•V vol.2

The Eternal City
she burns of velvet…

LET MADNESS BE
OUR IMMORTALITY.


HELLO, WELCOME TO
MAX • WORLD
I’M MAX !

WAR MACHINE MAX | MAXIMILIAN|THEIaWM-P_i

- 瑪姬女孩の狂舞之夢 -


LD ORLD ECORDS
USIC RODUCTION

ASREWOLF|AND
HEOSTNDOUND
IPS


SCORPION CORPORATION | S.CORP
SCORPION BLUE
LAVENDER VELVET
ÜBERMENSCHE


KINGS
CINEMAS

PERFORMANCE ART

-

“the beautiful, sad, and outrageous …”

“Its productions leap beyond shallow entertainment into that which evokes a deep emotional release in its audience…”

“Not quite a theatrical production, not quite a modern day film, not quite a lonesome night circus, but the potent extract of each fused into one spellbinding voyage..”

“POETIC AND INTIMATE”


MY FOUR PILLARS OF CREATIVITY
i. WRITING
ii. MOVEMENT
iii. MUSIC
iv. IMAGE

Mother Magna … whatever cause you created me to do… I will…

for creative freedom, financial independence, self-mastery, intimate performances, being a role model, for forever friendships

IMG_5472.jpeg
poetking.JPG
madtogether.JPG

LOG#20200315

Smoked just a bit to see if I can get my mind to relax. Self-hatred always comes knocking when I feel happiest… I wonder if I will ever lose and just give up. Friend says “no you will never lose”. Perhaps I grieve too early and tears come too easily. Is it dangerous to think of my failures as part of the art? Are these elusive dreams just lies I tell myself? Hopeless and empty. Is it pathetic to have my faith in poetry? Can it save my sanity…is there meaning? Pretty thoughts, ugly thoughts, pretty ugly thoughts…

pilgrimage

a personal piece of the universe
a privacy within the openness
a shyness growing more outrageous
a destination in every step,
new worlds in every half

hideous are the weathers
but it gives strength to the twigs of the blossoms
to hold worship the delicate blooms

art is a pilgrimage
to flame a raging courage
to break ego, this wretched cage
reminisce but never look back,
all we have to do is walk