Yesterday I contemplated and listed the things that give me strength. I often find myself in the state of fracture and not-belonging. I am not sure why, I am still searching for a home. I ask myself tirelessly the meaning of responsibility, value and productivity. I have fasted, fought and defied conventional thought, unfounded judgement and obsolete beliefs to find pieces of my personal freedom. The path of truth is infinite. I will keep walking.

THE LIST

Being a good friend and citizen. Making humane efforts. Being genuine, kind, supportive with creative energy and presence.

Taking care of myself, walking my own path, at my own pace. Nurturing inner beauty of courage and confidence. Monitoring and consuming what feeds mental and physical health as the foundation for growing stronger.

Cleaning, organizing, crafting and protecting my private world. Daydreaming, observing all sorts of emotions and thoughts. Inventing romance, mystery, adventure and enchantment into my secret world.

Being my own best friend and playmate, lover, guardian.

Becoming grateful by practicing gratefulness; becoming forgiving by practicing forgiveness. My two masters in the acts of resetting and unlearning so I may find innocence and nature once again.

Writing and constant rewriting of a meaningful vision. Planning, executing, experimenting, refining that vision as the blueprint to becoming self-sufficient and responsible. Balance practicality and creativity.

Living my life as a work of art. I am the subject, I am the creator. All events and moments within this universe serve the purpose of being this art. See worlds within worlds, universes within universes. Everything is creation. Creative power is omnipotent.

Venturing a creative voyage, beginning with mental and physical tools, mediums and resources (including limitations and painful experiences) which are unique and accessible to me. Being the architect of my own creative arsenal and realizing self as a creative supernova.

Defying convention. Not reacting to the opinions of others. Respecting unique perspectives by giving space and taking space.

Harnessing emotions with reasonability. Guiding reason with feeling. Finding feeling through dancing inside the philosophical and inside music, sweet lullabies of nature.

Consuming, processing and surrendering to literature of all forms that spark and capture me on this path. Observing the intention and the moral strength of writers for the purpose of deepening my own writing. Reject elitism, bias and judgement.

Jamming, conversing, collecting personal inspirations, finding soulmates in the realm of art consciousness and creative effort.

Being all that I am at the appropriate time and places - cheeky, eccentric, boyish, girly, motherly, gentle, imaginative. Playing with makeup, playing dress up. Taking snapshots of everything, taking selfies, journalling, sketching; finding who I am inside the mess I make, and then cleaning up so I can do it all over again.

At last, if there be a small philosophical space I can retain in the mind, let it be filled with this: Creativity is musicality and we are all born creative and musical. Have faith in art; art is not poor; art is egoless; art is free; free my art.